The Lord Buddha taught us to investigate pain so that we can see it as merely a condition that arises, stays briefly, and then disappears. Do not become attached to it. Do not think of pain as something personal or as part of who you are, because that goes against its true nature. Such wrong thinking also weakens the methods used to investigate pain and prevents wisdom from seeing feelings as they really are. Do not create problems for yourself where none truly exist. Simply observe the truth of pain as it arises, remains for a short time, and then vanishes. That is all pain really is.
After using mindfulness and wisdom to separate the painful feeling, turn your attention toward the Citta and compare the feeling with the awareness that knows it. Are they really the same thing? Then compare the Citta with the body in the same way. Are they identical in any way? Focus carefully on each one and do not allow the mind to wander away from the object you are investigating. Keep your attention firmly fixed on the specific point under examination. For example, focus directly on the pain and analyze it until you clearly understand its characteristics. Then turn to the Citta and try to see its knowing nature clearly. Are the pain and the awareness that knows it truly one thing? Is there any way they can be made into the same reality? And what about the body? Does it share the same nature as the Citta? Is it the same as the feeling? Are any of these three similar enough to be combined together as one?
The body is physical matter, so how could it possibly be the same as the Citta? The Citta is a mental reality, an awareness that knows. The physical elements that form the body have no awareness at all. They cannot know anything. The earth, water, wind, and fire elements know nothing. Only the mental element knows. Since this is true, how could the knowing nature of the Citta ever be identical to the body’s physical elements? Clearly, they are completely separate realities.
The same truth applies to pain. Pain itself has no awareness and no ability to know anything. Pain is simply a natural condition that appears together with the body, but it does not know the body or even know itself. Painful feelings depend on the body as their physical base. Without the body, they could not arise. But they have no physical form of their own. Sensations connected to the body are interpreted in such a way that they seem inseparable from the part of the body where they are felt. Instinctively, the body and the pain are combined together, making it seem as though the body itself is pain. We must correct this misunderstanding by carefully investigating both the nature of pain as a feeling and the physical characteristics of the area where the pain is strongly felt. The goal is to clearly determine whether the painful area—such as a knee joint—actually possesses the characteristics of pain itself. What shape does pain have? What posture does it have? Feelings have no shape or posture at all. They are simply formless sensations. The body, however, has a definite shape, color, and appearance, and none of these are changed by pain. The body remains exactly the same as before the pain arose. The physical body itself is not altered by pain because pain is a separate reality and cannot directly affect the body.
For example, when a knee hurts or a muscle aches, the knee and muscle are only bones, ligaments, and flesh. They are not pain itself. Although pain and the body exist together, they each maintain their own separate nature. The Citta knows both of them, but because its awareness is clouded by delusion, it automatically assumes that pain is mixed into the bones, ligaments, and muscles of the knee. Due to this same ignorance, the Citta also assumes that the entire body is part of oneself. Because of this, pain becomes mixed together with the sense of self. “My knee hurts. I am in pain. I do not want this pain. I want it to disappear.” This desire to get rid of pain is a mental defilement that increases suffering by turning physical pain into emotional suffering. The stronger the physical pain becomes, the stronger the desire to escape it becomes, creating even more emotional distress. These conditions continuously feed one another. In this way, through our own ignorance, we burden ourselves with suffering.
To see pain, body, and the Citta as separate realities, we must view each one correctly and independently. We must allow them to stand apart instead of combining them together into one identity. As long as they remain tied together as part of our self-image, we cannot view them clearly or separate them properly. As long as we continue to see pain as something personal, there will be no way to escape this problem. When the body, feelings, and the Citta are all merged together, there is no space for wisdom to work. But when we investigate them carefully with mindfulness and wisdom, moving back and forth between them, analyzing and comparing their distinct qualities, we begin to see clear differences among them. Then their true nature becomes obvious. Each exists independently according to its own reality. This is a universal truth.
As this deep realization sinks into the heart, the pain begins to weaken and slowly fades away. At the same time, we begin to understand the true connection between pain and the “self” that grasps it. That connection comes from inside the Citta and extends outward to include both the body and the pain. The experience of suffering originates from the Citta’s deep attachment to self, which creates emotional suffering in response to physical pain. Remaining fully aware throughout the process, we follow the painful feeling inward to its source. As attention stays focused on it, the pain gradually withdraws and pulls back toward the heart. Once we clearly realize that it is attachment within the heart that causes pain to become a personal problem, the suffering disappears. Sometimes the pain vanishes completely, leaving only the pure knowing nature of the Citta standing alone. At other times, the physical pain may still remain, but because emotional attachment has been removed, it is no longer experienced as suffering. Pain and the Citta are now seen as two completely different realities that no longer affect one another. Since the Citta no longer clings to pain, all connection between them has been cut off. What remains is the pure knowing essence of the Citta, peaceful and undisturbed even while pain continues within the body.
No matter how intense the pain may be at that time, it cannot affect the Citta in any way. Once wisdom clearly understands that both the Citta and the pain are real but each exists according to its own separate nature, they no longer interfere with one another. The body is simply a mass of physical matter. The same body that existed when pain appeared is still there after the pain disappears. Pain does not change the nature of the body, and the body does not change the nature of pain. The Citta is simply the awareness that knows pain arises, remains briefly, and disappears. But the true knowing nature of the Citta itself does not arise and cease like the body and feelings do. The knowing presence of the Citta remains the one stable reality.
Since this is true, pain—no matter how severe—cannot disturb the Citta at all. You can even smile while intense pain is present because the Citta stands separate from it. The Citta continues to know everything clearly without becoming entangled in feelings, and therefore it does not suffer.
This level is reached through strong and continuous use of mindfulness and wisdom. At this stage, wisdom itself strengthens concentration. Because the Citta has investigated all aspects thoroughly until complete understanding arises, the Citta reaches the fullest depth of concentration at that moment. It gathers inward with such courage and subtlety that it is impossible to fully describe. This extraordinary awareness comes from completely analyzing all things and then letting them go. Normally, when the Citta uses concentration meditation to enter calmness, it becomes peaceful and still. But that calmness is not nearly as subtle or profound as the calmness attained through wisdom. Once mindfulness and wisdom have directly fought against mental defilements and overcome them, the calmness that appears afterward becomes truly extraordinary every time.
This is the path for meditators who practice in order to penetrate the truth of the five aggregates, using painful feeling as the main object of investigation. This practice became the foundation of my fearlessness in meditation. I saw with complete certainty that the true knowing nature of the Citta could never be destroyed. Even if everything else were completely destroyed, the Citta would remain untouched. I realized this truth with perfect clarity at the moment when the Citta’s pure knowing essence stood completely alone, entirely separate from everything else. Only that knowing awareness remained, shining clearly in its own majestic presence. The Citta released the body, feelings, memory, thought, and consciousness, entering a pure stillness completely free from all connection with the five aggregates. At that moment, the five aggregates no longer functioned in relation to the Citta at all. The Citta and the aggregates existed independently because meditation had completely separated them from one another.
This attainment brings a sense of amazement unlike anything ever experienced before. The Citta remains suspended in a peaceful stillness for a long time before eventually returning to normal awareness. After withdrawing from that state, it reconnects with the five aggregates again as before. Yet it remains absolutely certain that it has experienced a state of extraordinary calm completely separate from the five aggregates. The certainty of this amazing spiritual experience can never be erased.
Because of this unshakable certainty that became firmly established in my heart through direct experience, no argument or doubt could ever shake it again. Therefore, I returned to my concentration meditation practice with even greater determination and dedication than before. The powerful attraction of this certainty pulled the heart deeply inward. The Citta quickly entered calmness and concentration again as it had before. Although I had not yet fully freed the Citta completely from the influence of the five aggregates, I became deeply inspired to continue striving toward the higher stages of Dhamma.
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